Outside

I know I may venture

outside today,

there are things to do

and there is no other way,

but the thought

of human interaction

has my head spinning

and driven to distraction

How do I explain

I am not that person anymore

and now I fear

stepping outside my front door.

Leaving home has to be planned

like a military operation

with the aim of avoiding

any foreseeable altercation.

My route and time

are chosen carefully

to make sure I don’t do

anything unnecessary

like having to queue

in the shop or post office

the thought of which

leaves me feeling nauseous.

I know I cannot continue

to live my life this way

but that’s a problem

to solve another day.